silly Pixar movies and deep longings of the soul

The deep longing started in me back in late middle school.  I was becoming more and more committed to following Jesus, and I was also a big reader.  My dad started giving me some of the books that had shaped his life, books from the Joshua series and Mike Yaconelli.  

One book that left a deep mark was Unveiled at Last by Bob Sjogren, which bore the subtitle "Discover God's Hidden Message from Genesis to Revelation."  It revealed God's heart for the world, and how He so much desired to see people from every tongue and tribe and nation come to know Him, much like the Perspectives class does.  

As an eighth grader, I was a pretty analytical guy. "I've only got one life to live.  And if I don't live it for God, it doesn't really count for anything.  And if I want to live for God, I should do all I can to tell people about Him and let them know who He is."  Seemed simple enough.  So from there to sum it up, it's basically been my heart cry that "I want to change the world for the Kingdom of Heaven."  

From there, I started to brainstorm this huge story-arc of my life, where I would get passionate about going to a certain place and doing certain amazing things.  But then as I went on I would find out about something else and decide "oh, this is it!  This is the thing I'm passionate about that I want to go for it and use to change the world!"  After getting passionate about a few different things, I started to instead see my life as a miniseries of adventures.

I wanna do it!  I wanna dream big dreams, go far and deep and wide!  

And God's been dealing with me on that a little bit.  Of course He would use the movie Up by Pixar, should have seen that coming, right? My roommate Chris is getting married soon, so he's been looking for any extra reasons possible to hang out with us.  Dollar theater Pixar movie was a great choice.

If you've seen Up, you'd know it's a surprisingly melancholy tale of love and loss and unfulfilled dreams.  Carl, the progatonist, falls in love with a young wild-eyed girl named Ellie.  Ellie and Carl start their very own young explorer's club.  Ellie shows him a big leather bound edition that has a front cover stating, "My Adventure Book."  She thumbs through the blank pages and speaks of the great and wonderful things she's going to do with her life to fill those pages.  Life fast-forwards quickly with a moving montage of clips.  Carl and Ellie get married, buy a house, fix it up, try and save up multiple times for an adventure, try and have a kid--seeking a doctor's help multiple times, and grow older until Ellie passes away peacefully, but in an untimely fashion.  They never had the big adventure that they wanted.

The movie goes on, and Carl finally sets off with a bumbling 9 year old boy scout and they have the adventure that Ellie had always dreamed and spoken of.  In a dramatic moment about 2/3 the way through the movie, Carl get's out the large volume, "My Adventure Book," to finally fill one of the old empty pages with the long awaited adventure.

When he reaches the final pages that he expects to be blank, a surprise awaits him.  Before Ellie passed, she DID fill all those blank pages that were waiting for lifetime adventures.  But instead of pictures of waterfalls in South America, the pages are full of Carl and Ellie.  Their wedding day, their first house, the times in life where they were the CLOSEST.  

At this point I was a wreck.  C'mon, how can a stupid computer animated cartoon get emotional like that?  After the movie, Chris and I were walking to the car and he lamented that he gets too emotional at silly things like that.  I confessed that I, too, was moved in a deep way.  At that point, we both decided to stop feeling wrong and unmanly about the movie, but let it speak to us.  We went home and worshiped God out of this openness.

With worship music in the background, I found myself on my knees with my face buried in the carpet, getting it wet with tears.  God brought back to mind the "My Adventure Book" from the movie.  I already have a "My Adventure Book," at least mentally.  I felt like He was saying to me, the most monumental and memorable things from your life are not when you accomplish the most, Lance, but when you and I are closest.

wwwwwwwwwWWWWhoooooaaa

Thank you, Jesus.  I love you.  Really, I do want to love you.  Draw me closer to you.

And here's the clip from the movie, what I could find of it on YouTube.  Except the book title is in Russian.... but just know that it spells out "My Adventure Book."

just gotta write these down -- Red Hat at Army Football game

Okay old defunct blog, you ready for some new life? Cuz we're cominatcha like a frieght train. Jesus, you've just been so ridiculous in my life lately that it NEEEEDS to be chronicled. Gotta write it down somewhere, so this is the place. Buckle up, here we go!

It was the last Iowa State home football game against Army, September 26th. Iowa State games are... well, at the risk of quenching the school spirit.... the games are boring. There, I said it. So to spice things up, a couple friends and I prayed together before the game, asking God to direct us in any way he wants. There are 50,000 people gathered, surely someone out there could use a little more Jesus in their life!

Our prayer time was short, but long enough to hear from God. One of my roomates heard "my faithful" and it was cool because later he was able to have deep discussions with some of his faithful leaders that he's been discipling. Grant saw the pine trees behind the hill we stand on at the game, and a vapor trail circle appear there. I saw two things, the first a blonde woman in a red hat under the bleachers with her back to the game. The second was a dark haired guy with an E on his chest on the jumbotron or something, not totally sure what he was up to. I mean, it's not all 100% science here, people!

So at the game we basically just watched the first half like normal. I wanted to step out and do something risky, but hey, start slow. Finally about half time we were back by the pine trees on top of the hill and my friend Kyle was there. His eye was hecka red, he said he was helping his roommate with a car problem and ethanol splattered in his eye. So we circled around him and prayed for his eye. After praying for a lil bit, we stopped and asked what he was feeling. He looked like there was something tugging on his heart, and said that more than his eye he was feeling God dig at some unconfessed sin in his life. He said a little bit about it, and it was actually something that Grant had just had a new release of victory about in his life. Awesome! So Grant and Kyle went off to share and pray together.

I still had my list of people burning a hole in my pocket. Kendalle showed up and was excited to walk around with me. We did a lap around the concourse, looking around, talking, trying to stay in tune with God. Nothing. I start to review what we're looking for: "well, i have two things on my list, but we could also pray for anyone with a physical ailment." Bam, right then the crowd parts and there is a guy on crutches as I finish saying the "ment" on "ailment." *Gulp* guess that one's for us. We walk up to the guy, ask him how he hurt himself. He tells us the story, really nice and warm guy. We told him that we were praying before the game for chances to pray for people to be healed, and can we pray for him now? He says great, he's catholic and asks for prayers all the time. So we laid hands on his shoulders and prayed that God would heal and reveal himself to him. It was cool. Didn't see the compound fracture in a cast immediately snap into alignment with heaven, but cool nonetheless. He sincerely thanked us and headed back to his family.

With that one in our belt, we were feeling encouraged and bold in the Lord. But time went on and Kendalle and I kept walking around the concourse. And walking. And walking. Nothing. I see a blonde woman under the bleachers with her back to the game, but NO red hat. Three out of four ain't bad, right? I almost walk up to her, but she bolts. Humph.

The game is kinda winding down now by this point. It's midway through the fourth quarter. I ask Kendalle, "do you really think we're going to find a blonde woman with a red hat under the bleachers?" And he says "you mean like that woman over there?" Sure enough, right outside the concession stand was a woman in her concession stand uniform talking on her phone. The hat was red, her hair was blonde, we were under the bleachers! I blurt out:

"Wow, that's awesome! But her back is not to the game."

At that very moment, she walks over to the fence and turns her back to us. And to the game. Okay God, we got it! But now what? She ends her phone conversation and goes right back in the concession stand door. It's obvious that with her red uniform, she is in charge, and she is standing behind all thes people in black vests who run the cash registers. So how do we talk to her? They are starting to close the outside windows of the concession stand, leaving only the middle one open!

Kendalle and I just kinda gawk at the menu and stand awkwardly just out of line. Finally, red hat lady is close to the counter, so we walk up.

"Can I help you?" she asks.

"Well, not exactly..." I mumble.

[awkward pause as we look up at the menu again]

"So you're not going to order anything?"

I finally say, "Well, actually maybe we can help you. This is goinog to sound really strange, but before the game we were praying, and I saw a picture of a blonde woman in a red hat under the bleachers with her back to the game, and just a second ago when you were on your phone, that was YOU."

She is pleasantly surprised. She looked really tickled at the idea, but she didn't know what to say at all. One of the cashiers chimed in, "Are you some kind of forture teller or something?" I quickly replied "No, but I'm a follower of Jesus, and He loves this woman so much that he knows every hair on her head, every hope of her heart, and he certainly knows when she's under the bleachers in a red hat." Okay, it wasn't quite that eloquent, but that general idea.

From there, it came out that these cashiers, and actually ALL the cashiers were volunteers from Christ Community Church in Carroll, Iowa. They do this as a fundraiser for their youth ministries. And the red hat woman, Pat, is the one employee from Iowa State who oversees all of them. One of the cashiers chimed in and said "Ya know, Pat, God put it on my heart a couple quarters ago to really ask you how you were doing. I didn't take the time then, so here we are now!"

Pat couldn't really think of a reason why God would be getting her attention. The word I had as the tag-along with the details was "God wants to whisper in the silence." So that's kinda what it seemed like here, mostly silence in her life and here we come whispering. She said that her foster daughter goes to Cornerstone, my church. But it seemed like she didn't really have a church home or anything going on in that area of her life.

Well, from there Kendalle and I prayed for her. Just that God would reveal himself to her, and thanking Him that He made this happen. It as neat. We walked off, the, as the cashier who had more of a pre-existing relationship with Pat talked with her more. It was really encouraging. Kendalle and I did a dance for Jesus once we were mostly out of sight.

We were riding cloud nine, but was there more to come? Kendalle pointed out that we didn't have a guy with an E on his chest yet. And Grant said he still didn't know what to make about the word he had about "circle by the pine trees." Kendalle and I said, wait, didn't a circle of us pray for Kyle by the pine trees? Ohhhh yeah forgot about that one! So yeah, I don't know where to end the story really except from there we left, praising Jesus, and encouraged to step out more in His name.

Probably the coolest thing in history

Hello blogging world. I have taken a couple month break, but I'm back and I'll try and stay back for a while. I mostly posted on this blog before when I was either procrastinating from college homework or working overnights at my hotel job. Now I neither have college homework nor an overnight front desk job. So I'll have to find a new rhythm.

And now, to revive this blog to life, I will post about:
THE BEST AND GREATEST THING IN HISTORY

http://www.godrev.com/joy-in-heaven/

Go there. And watch the ticker and the map. You will see certain cities across the globe highlighted, switching from city to city about every minute. What is happening on Godrev.com is this: They are presenting the gospel to people in several interactive steps. Then they are leading people through a prayer for Jesus to cleanse them of their sins and lead them into the family of God. Then, if people pray this prayer, they show up on the ticker. The website reads the IP address of the computer and then the city pops up on the map. On average, someone comes to Christ through this website about every minute.

AS I WAS TYPING THAT LAST PARAGRAPH: Six people came to Christ through this website. Six. They are from: China, Peru, Columbia, Mexico, Venezuela, and France. Oooh, there's another one: TURKEY! Praise God. Yesterday there were 1,946 people who clicked that YES, they prayed to become a Christ Follower!

Now, there's no way to be sure if people aren't just clicking through the steps and saying "yes" just for fun or without their hearts being fully in it. You can read through the FAQs to see just how it works. But still, isn't it cool to have the heavenly view on things? Constant parties in heaven, almost. The angels get to see this unfold, and have a toast with the Lamb Who Was Slain about every minute. Wow.

Oooh: decisions in Ireland, Turkey, and Peru. All these Latin American countries, that's pretty neat. United Arab Emirates, Morocco, Praise God! Are those countries even open to the gospel? This is incredible!

Lord, I praise you for the eternal work you are doing around the globe at this very second! You are so good, God! May we continue to serve you with our technology to your glorious purposes!

We're all in this together

Working in the hotel business has been funny. It's made for the perfect in-between job for me this spring/summer (except for the hours. Nights. Learning experience).

One thing that makes the hotel business go is special events. Few people travel just for the heck of it. Luckily here in Ames we have lots of random things going on. Many times events and conferences are the same every year, so we know to expect this group from such-a-place and they'll want rooms by the pool for so-and-so and cook extra such-and-such for breakfast because they eat lots of those. For example: two weeks ago was the Special Olympics. Last week was this event for smart kids called Odyssey of the Mind. Both had about the same amount of fussy adult supervision. The Olympians ate a lot more for breakfast, though.

Which brings us to this week. We have a full hotel yet again with a bunch of pastors and lay-leaders for a certain state wide Christian conference going on in town. I'm not going to say what affiliation or anything. The problem is, this group of people is notorious for making things just a little difficult for the hotel. Lots of people with particular requests and changes that we have to make.  There are entitled to have a good stay that meets all their expectations, sure.  But something is wrong when your manager tells you at the beginning of the week, "oh no, this is going to be a hard week, I don't like it when this group stays here."

This concerns me.  I don't necessarily have a close affiliation with this particular Christian group or denomination or anything.  It would be easy to bash them and say that they have strayed from the gospel and if only they were on MY team than maybe the world would repent and everything would be made right.  But that simply isn't true.  My team has lots of sinners on it.  Actually, all of them are sinners.  On every team.  Except for that one star player who is on every Christian team.  He bats cleanup and makes every pitch a strike.  The lefty from Nazareth.  Perfection.

So here's the simple plea: How about all of us Christians strive to be the kind of people that a hotel staff would enjoy to have stay at their hotel.  The rest of the hotel staff knows that my other part-time job is at a church.  And they know that the particular group that stayed and made problems was from a bunch of churches.  And they aren't impressed.

Yet.

There's still time.  Jesus, You are the faithful witness (Revelation 1:5).  Come do your "redeeming" thing.  Right now we still look like dirty empty pop cans, so could you turn us into shiny nickels once more?  

"The Girls High School State Tennis Meet" or, "How to Make Sure You're Not Creepy"

Thursday I had the amazing opportunity to watch my little sister compete at the State Tennis meet. A huge honor just to make it. And she's just a freshmen, and her doubles partner is a sophomore! So it doesn't sting that they lost both their matches in a row. They competed at a very high level and proved that they had earned the invitation. Look out for next year (and the year after and the year after...).

Okay, now that we got the mushy proud big brother moment out of the way, let me completely hijack this post into something else. The last couple posts here have been too heavy, time to totally wreck the mood. Fasten your seatbelt:


So my Dad and I were enjoying $3 hot dogs courtside at the tennis meet. It happened to be next to the merchandise table. Roughly 2/3 of my wardrobe is composed of t-shirts that commemorate some event, usually family vacations and sporting events. But as my Dad and I squinted at the memoribilia table, we realized that, although a nice gesture to go with the moment, we could never really wear t-shirts that say "Iowa High School GIRLS TENNIS State Tournament." Do you really want to walk down the street later and advertise "I went to, and wish to remember and commemorate, a High School Girl's __(fill in the blank with event)__." Just doesn't really work.

Usually, as a upper middle class white male, I walk in aloof confidence about my place in society. But musing about the slippery message of the t-shirts with my Dad made me realize that I was one of the only twentysomething males in attendence to the tournament. And I began to wonder if people were wondering about me. "Who's that creeper from the college who came here to ogle athletic high schoolers all day? Sicko!"

Which brings me to a helpful guide for today, should you ever find yourself in a similar situation. I present to you: The STOPLIGHT of Males attending Young Female Sporting Events

RED LIGHT
Don't do these. Ever. It's for your own sake and the sake of the people around you. You could have some public servants jump out of the bushes and read you your rights.
YELLOW LIGHT
Proceed with caution. You can get away with it... but... everyone will be thinking things. Things that you don't want them to think.
GREEN LIGHT
Go ahead and try these. Couldn't hurt. It'll throw people off your scent for sure.

RED: talking to girls you're not related to.
YELLOW: making eye-contact with girls you're not related to.
GREEN: staying within 10 feet of a relative, keeping your shoulders and probably your hips turned toward the family relation at all times

RED: wearing a trenchcoat and a mustache
YELLOW: wearing reflective sunglasses
GREEN: wearing a bike helmet

RED: Dressing in a suit and slicking back your hair
YELLOW: Dressing like an Express model, complete with brooding pouty facial expressions
GREEN: Dressing in a windbreaker jogging suit in bright school colors and carrying a clipboard

RED: telling the person running the concession stand you'd like to buy a gatorade for "that blonde on court 4, tell her it's from Rique."
YELLOW: buying candy from the concession stand and saying "I probably won't eat all of it, maybe I could just give some of this candy away. Everybody loves free candy!"
GREEN: smearing ketchup all over your face while you eat your hot-dog from the concession stand and leaving it on your chin until your mom wipes it off.

RED: sitting alone in the back of the bleachers with a telephoto lens
YELLOW: sitting courtside with a camera and saying things like "oh that's going to be one of my favorite shots" or "can you do that again, but flip your hair the other way?"
GREEN: periodically grabbing unsuspecting relatives and taking self portrait photos with your cell phone camera and the victim that's related to you

There you have it, folks. Keep these guidelines in mind and you'll be sure to make the next event in no way awkward and in every way a family favorite. We're pulling for you.

Neil Anderson daily devotion

I subscribe to Neil Anderson's daily devotion, simply called Daily In Christ. It was an amazing devotion today. I thought I would copy and paste it so that I could have an amazing blog post. The ironic thing? He didn't write it either, he's referencing somebody. You can go ahead and reference my blog to keep the cycle of friendly plagiarism alive. Here we go:

DO IT ANYWAY
Galatians 6:10 While we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of faith
After I had driven home the point that nobody or nothing can keep us from being what God wants us to be, one of my students gave me this nugget of truth from an unknown author.

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for the underdog anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help, but may attack you if you help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you've got and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Prayer: Lord, I purpose today not to listen to my detractors or look to the left or the right, but to stay on the clear, sure path You have set before me.

Aaron Weiss

Tomorrow marks the release of mewithoutYou's new album. The title is:

it's all crazy! it's all false! it's all a dream! it's alright

which can be a bit of a mouthful. I'll no doubt have a review coming soon on the blog. My dear friend and companion Matt Van Maanen introduced me to the band about 3 years ago when he wanted to use one of their songs for a video we were making. It was the track "Bullet to Binary" of mwY's first album, [A->B] Life. I thought it was horrible. The grumbling dissonant guitars, some guy half yelling half talking saying "let us die, let us die." Blech.

Thankfully, Matt didn't let up. His next piece of propagana was the music video to the song "Paper Hanger." What made me pay attention was how Matt could re-enact the entire video on the blue fluffy carpet of our dorm room. More precisely, he could re-enact every naive facial expression and daisy-in-the-wind dance move of the lead singer, Aaron Weiss. The song contained some of Weiss's genius:

"Not one motion of her gesture could I forget
The prettiest bag lady I ever met....
....If I was a basket filled with holes
Then she was the sand I tried to hold"

And so, after walking to Matt's dorm room across the hall and seeing him watch the video every day at 4pm sharp, it started to grow on me. There was something to the madness of these mewithoutYou guys. An acquired taste, not sweet and sugary, but lumpy and crusty and at times bitter, but always leaving a good aftertaste.

The center of the madness and the genius is Aaron Weiss. He officially has social anxiety disorder, I believe. I have a friend who was at one of the early shows where he saw Aaron have a little bit of an anxiety attack and he tried to leave the stage. His brother Michael, the guitarist, stopped him and talked to him and got him to at least finish the show. But that was just part of the beauty and mystery of the band. Who knew if they could hold it together. While they did hold it together, Aaron crafted amazing lyrics and performed them more like spoken word poetry.

The angst and the poetry and the genius was real. But over the progression, you could see Aaron grow and mellow out and put deeper roots of faith in the Lord. The first album, downright scary and angry. The second album, more tempered, yet still edgy and on a journey. The process is even chronicled on that album in the song "Tie me up, Untie me" with the lyric

"She's like the hot cloth on a fevered head,
And like a needle she leads me (while I follow like thread)
But you untied me... didn't You untie me, Lord?
And now I haven't even thought about killing myself in almost five months"

Some of the most unnerving encouraging lines you'll find.

The progression continued on the next release which was called Brother, Sister after the a poem that I believe is by St. Francis. In this, much of the angst was expressed in agrarian themes, such as

"the books are overdue and the goats are underfed
the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead"

The music mellowed out significantly, adding accordians and harps to some songs. They still had the good guitar work, but it was the turning point from being an angry hardcore-ish band to being makers of interesting music.

And so, I come to the whole reason that I sat down to write this post in the first place:
This new album looks to be a step even further in the progression of being less angst ridden and heavy, and more agrarian folklore. Which, as I said, makes for interesting music that is more accessible.

But here's the rub: Aaron is not so angry anymore. He's not a tortured soul, wondering if he's going to make it with himself another day. I dunno, maybe this full album tomorrow will surprise me, but the 3 songs that have been released so far lead me to believe that the shrew has been largely tamed.

Should I feel bad for being a little disappointed? Weiss was fiery, he was intense, he was masterful. His genius shone in the midst of his dark valleys. In some ways, I feel triumphant walking into tomorrow to buy an album that looks to be the top of the summit; Aaron's ascent to a full and victorious life in Christ. But is it okay if I miss the old Aaron, just a little?

The album will still be good. But I think it's the beginning of the end. Some of their old followers will start to loose interest. Hopefully the more accessible horn section and piano ballads will open the door to more fans. I dunno. But already I feel they're becoming a different band entirely.

Hats off to you, Mr. Weiss, for overcoming the inner demons and walking more toward the light. Sorry if I treated you like a side show spectacle at times. Thanks for letting us enter your pain. And thanks for continuing to point people to that light, as you said in "O Porcupine":

"and all I ever want to say for the rest of my life
is how that light is G-d,
and though I've been mistaken on this or that point,
that light is nevertheless G-d."

Hamster Wheels

My apartment currently contains two hamsters. Which is two more than I would prefer, but hey, as long as Chris takes care of them and I don't have to touch them, I won't make a fuss. Claus and Su-Su never did anything to me, so I don't have reason to kick them out or anything.

Claus is a Russian dwarf hamster, making him about a third the size of Su-Su. We're just babysitting Su-Su for a friend who is currently out of the country. Unfortunately, S-squared lives in a cage about a third the size of Claus's cage, with a hamster wheel that in no way fits his girth. Yet he keeps running on that thing, rotation after rotation, with his back arched painfully, covering almost 180 degrees of the wheel.

It's almost painful to watch him run on that miniature wheel. I'm not just saying that because he's a rodent and I generally distaste watching rodents do anything. Even people who appreciate hairball pets have commented, asking Chris, "Why does he run on that thing?" Chris shrugs and answers back,

"He was just made to run, I guess."

It got me thinking, because in that same room across from the hamster cage is the couch where you see my roommates spend hours and hours hunched over Bibles or scrunched in kneeling next to the coffee table praying. I'm encouraged and humbled by the collective yearn for God that is displayed by the 3 guys I live with. But at times their reaching out for God and wanting to meet with Jesus doesn't look comfortable or like it's the most fun thing in the world. But like that hamster folded in half in his wheel, they just keep running. So if a passerby would stop and ask, "Why does he pray and read his Bible like that?" I would have to shrug and reply,

"He was just made to be with God, I guess."

John 14:6

Just heard an amazing sermon online by the likes of Brian Zahnd. I heard him speak once at ISU, and since then I've been compelled to occasionally listen to his podcast. He's a well read poetic pastor who took a church of like 80 people in podunk Missouri to 4,000 members. After his sermons sometimes I have to go to the dictionary, because he'll say things like "it's a scathing indictment on the world we live in." It's great.

Here's some notes from his sermon "Changing the World with a whisper." The gist of it was that in our American culture where 75% claim to be Christian but few actually walk in truth, we need less to preach at people with the bullhorn and come near to people and simply whisper. In it, he unpacked John 14:6 in one of the most thorough ways I've heard. Here are his bullet points:

Jesus is the way to find forgiveness
Jesus is the way to reconciliation with God and one another
Jesus is the way to be human
Jesus is the way back to the garden
Jesus is the way to inner peace, social peace, and world peace
Jesus is the way to prosperous living and abundant life
Jesus is the way for human beings to recover and confer dignity
Jesus is the way for us to love our enemies and end the cycle of revenge
Jesus is the way for legislatures to craft laws and for elected officials to govern
Jesus is the way for families to live together without anger, alienation, or abuse
Jesus is the way for the alcoholic to get sober and the addict to get clean
Jesus is the way for the poor to find a way out of their poverty
Jesus is the way for the wealthy to learn how to share
Jesus is the way for the selfish to learn how to care
Jesus is the way of healing for the sick in miracles and medicine
Jesus is the way for the old world the new world and the third world to become God's good world
Jesus is the truth which leads us to abandon our false philosophies and idolatrous religions
Jesus is the life of authentic Christianity, whether in catholic, orthodox, protestant, or evangelical expression
Jesus is the way for a prodigal people to return from self imposed exile and live again in the father's house where there is room for all
Jesus is the truth which liberates us from the lies of sin and satan which have bound since the fall
Jesus is the life which our best poets writers and musicians always thought was possible but never quite could find
This is our Gospel, God's whisper of love and truth that can change the world

Praise God. I want in on that!

gotta feel SOMEthing

I've been noticing things that lead me to believe that maybe our culture is getting a little numb. Numb to the point that we have to do more and more to just feeeeeel SOMEthing. Be more extreme, more hardcore, more MORE just so that it pokes our callouses enough to at least make somebody notice.

Examples:
Used to be that people got excited about Mountain Dew, it was the big caffeine pick-me-up.
Now? There are a hundred different kinds of energy drinks, Monster and Red Bull and Nos. They are getting ridiculous. Caffiene isn't enough, now we need it's big angry brother, taurine. My dad sees people in the hospital emergency room who have had too many energy drinks. No joke.

Used to be that people got excited about Stone Cold Steve Austin and Goldberg. These mammoth men created violence within the scripted confines of WWE and WCW.
Now? Mixed Martial Arts, the Octagon, people beating each other up with blood and submission holds and broken limbs. Chuck Liddell is the real life Chuck Norris.

Used to be that people got excited about the latest punk band or ska outfit. Concert goers would skank around the dance floor in a light mosh, looking something like a person bumper car skating rink.
Now? Hardcore. Thrashcore. Screamo. Shriek louder, hit the bass drum faster, and crunch the guitars more maliciously. People dance by throwing fists and roundhouse kicks. It actually looks pretty cool when they get wound up and those punches and kicks beat the airspace. Just hope there aren't any faces in that same airspace.

Just some observations. The world has changed even from when I was in high school. I'm not bemoaning the world, saying "it's all going to pot! This next generation sucks!" I'm just wondering what's next.
Mountain Dew to Monster to Adrenaline IV's?
WWE to MMA to Prison inmate deathmatch?
Punk to hardcore to.... chainsaws and jackhammers on stage?

Wisdom seems to tell me that it can only go so far. When is the ending point where we can't get any more extreme? I know time usually goes in cycles, getting more hardcore would probably be followed by a general pacification. However, my observations here were mostly based on high school males, it's not like all of society is in the thrill culture, or even the Monster Energy Drinks culture. Where do all these kids go from here? Skydiving?

Last questions: has this filtered over into the culture of Christianity? It's not that the Church should have lots of sleepless nights over what the christian subculture is drinking to start the day or watching on prime time TV. These things don't necessarily have direct consequences on holiness and maturity in Christ. But it does mean that men's retreats include paintball and mountain hikes and shooting real guns within the church.

If only being more hardcore meant sharing the gospel with more people and dealing more radically with sin......

Renewal of all things

In the last post, when I brought out the Habbakuk 3:2 verse, I did a search of the word "renew" to bring it up. As I perused the other verses produced in the search, I came across Matthew 19:28. A slightly obscure verse where Jesus is talking to his disciples about their place in his kingdom. It says- Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

One of those interesting things that puts a picture in your mind of Peter at the pearly gates and whatnot. But here's the part that caught my eye:

at the renewal of all things

Doesn't that just sound beautiful? All things are going to be renewed. Our relationships. The economy (lolz). Darfur. Our d r e a m s. All the rough burrs and smudges and ink blots that have accumulated over the years. Renewed. Washed away. Ahhh, thinking about it just makes me want to lean back and close my eyes and smile at Him. Who, you ask?

the Son of Man who sits on his glorious throne

Him. The one who was responsible for all that renewing on all those things. Author and perfector. Kickstarter and like-new-er. Craftsman and polisher. Jesus.

Demographic for revival

Today, 4 out of 5 students who attended church in high school do not attend church in college.

Also, 4 out of 5 students drink alcohol in college. I'm not trying to say that BEER IS THE DEVIL, I acknowledge that there is a healthy way to drink and enjoy the God-created pleasures of alcohol. Problem is, half of college drinkers "engage in heavy episodic consumption," aka binge drinking. Getting wasted. Not something that helps them reflect God's image.

Jimmy, the average All-American boy stepping on campus for the first time this fall, will stop going to church and start going to house parties. That is the general slope of college society today, the path of least resistance.

Has that always been the case? There was a day, when George Washington Carver went to Iowa State University, that half of all the campus was in some sort of Bible study. Half.

That is 1 out of 2.

Fifty percent.

The glass was half full.

It is possible to reclaim and surpass this. I know it is, Lord. Come and shake the earth. Lord, it looks less like leaving the 99 to find the 1 lost sheep, but more like leaving the 1 to find the 99 lost sheep. But it is doable, Lord. You are the God of all of time and space, all statistics and people. You care deeply about each 19 year old kid who is puking on a sidewalk somewhere, simply because that's the way of life he has strolled into.

Half the campus. That's 13,000 souls. It is not too large a thing. The arm of the Lord is not too short to save. Renew it in our day, Lord.
Habbakuk 3:2-LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, O LORD. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.

ANTHEM, aka, I love my boss

Thursday night was ANTHEM. It was simply ridiculous. Two services of 600 people each just singing their guts out to the Most High Lord of Heaven.

Jesus, why is it that when we give all that we have to you and worship you to the uttermost, it all just turns around and fills us with joy and life? We're trying to lift you up and bless you, and you turn right back around and just pour it out on us. Crazy.

I was on the video team for this Anthem, as I have been for the last three. Thre's a bit of a difference between helping produce the worship event and just showing up and being part of the worship event. Not that one is better than the other. Just different. I remember when I was running the camera on stage left, all up in Bobby's grill with the guitar solos and then getting awesome shots of Ryan as he's singing with the crazy lights shining around him, and in my head I'm just screaming JESUS YOU REIGN!!!! It's fun. But different.

I did make it that much sweeter when they did a 3 song encore. I had already set down my camera in a safe place and taken off the headset when the band came out.
*Sidenote: They didn't really make the crowd work for the encore, like many bands do at concerts I've been too. It was more of a meet each other half way thing. Half of the crowd was sticking around saying "one more song" and half of the band was at the back edge of the stage, with their expression saying "can we play one more? Yeah?" Which is probably good to not be uppity about encores, since this is technically a "worship event" and not a "concert." Ok, sidenote over...
I got to be in the front and center of the crowd amongst the crazy sweating people for the encore, which was amazing. The band did "To Know You More" which is quickly becoming a favorite song.

Then, the moment: The song crescendos. Mark is rocking out on stage center, and we lock eyes. One thought is in my head at that moment: STAGE DIVE. I'm standing next to Jase Rohde and Ben Jensen, who are both strapping young men, we can do this! I can tell Mark and I are on the same wavelength. To make it all clear, I gesture with my arms in the air like a dad in a pool beckoning his 6 year old son who's on the pool deck. Mark's eyes get wide, the song is blaring. Mark takes a step back and crouches like a skater about to drop into the half-pipe. Three bounding steps forward, and
yyyyyyeeeeaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!
jumps into our arms. Ben, Jase and I caught him, but the girls standing directly behind us kind of ran away. Luckily Mike Easton jumped underneath Mark's body. Mark did a good half turn in the air like any good stage diver would, although he kind of piked up into a ball, probably because he saw the people running away. But we caught him, bottom line. It was awesome. The people to our right were on board, so Mark floated that way until we tossed him back up onto the stage, unscathed.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I love my boss. Well, that and the fact that he loves Jesus and follows Him everyday with the same intensity as a stage dive. Praise God.

Lance's Responsible Grown-Up Scoreboard

I think I'm going to do a little miniseries of posts here on my blog.  I call it "Lance's Responsible Grown-Up Scoreboard."  I'm 23, I'm over a semester out of college, I'm in the real world.  But I live across the street from a college campus and I have a job that includes "dodgeball" in its main duties.  So it's time for the tale of the tape.  This week's score so far on the RGUSB:

Played dodgeball for several hours on Sunday night: -1

Bought a car with my money that I will actually own on the title: +1

Financed the car through my parents: -0.5

Bought the car from my aunt for really cheap: -0.5

Shopped around for car insurance policies, got a good deal with State Farm: +1

Painted my face and fought the mid-evil club with 30 guys, Braveheart style: -1

There you have it, the mid-week tally on the Responsi-meter is (-1).  That's okay, I estimate that in months past I've been hanging out near a (-3).  The general way that I feel the Responsi-meter scorecard turns out:

(-5): You need to throw away the comic books and graduate from middle school

(0): Well balanced, fun loving, hard working, vibrant life

(+5): You need to loosen your necktie and stop yelling at little kids telling them to get a job

Okay, well this new research method is untested, yet promising.  I'll keep you posted!

Resurrection Explosion

Is Jesus really that good? Could it be possible? RESOUNDING YES.

Jesus, look what happened at our Easter celebration. The Freshmen Group Easter experience was pretty cool, you really showed up. I had a lot of harebrained ideas cooked up, and the amazing co-workers that you blessed me with let me try and follow through with them.

First off, God, you showed up in the Xenos performance. It was amazing to see over 20 students, 90% of them Asian, doing a dance routine to Holy hip-hop. I know some of them don't even follow you yet, and they were helping us to celebrate your resurrection. It was really cool, Lord, I know your kingdom is going to have lots of dancing going on.

And Jesus, thank you for showing up in the worship music. I was scared, everyone was out of town and we didn't have a drummer, but in the end it didn't even really matter. We were able to sing the desires of our hearts to you.

Lord, thank you for carrying me through the message. Lord I thank you for the words that you passed over my tongue. May anything I said that was not of you be forgotten already, and may the things that were of you penetrate into the deepest places.

God, thank you for using the coconut. It's such a striking picture of your death, burial, and resurrection. Lord I could tell you were using it to speak to people. Thank you for B&L who taught it to me, and your followers across India who use it to draw near to your heart. And God, thank you for keeping me from hurting myself with the hammer, I know it would have been pretty gripping if I had a bloody thumb to help people enter in to your crucifixion, but I thank you that it still worked.

Jesus I could tell that you were really drawing near to people in the communion time. Wow. Now that I think about it, I didn't actually get a chance to partake of it. Hmm. Well Jesus, you still were working in everyone there, and me for sure, so I thank you for that.

Lord, the cardboard boxes were amazing. What a passionate picture of the way that we raise from the grave alongside you. God I pray that people were touched by it.

God, you are amazing. That's all I can say. Look what you did. Thank you for helping me from getting in the way. I loooooooove you, Jesus.

Blazing Saddles

Last night was my second time at a gay bar.

I'm not really sure what to say. I could type up an in-depth case study of each of the people I met and the social constructs that come to life in this sub-culture of middle America. But I don't want to turn these people into lab rats. That's a big part of why I went, to stop the de-humanization. These are people.

More full reason of why I went: Last week the Iowa Supreme Court made some weird out of the blue ruling that gay marriage is now allowed in Iowa. Random, and I don't really agree with it. But what's worse: I was called from an unknown number on my cell and left a recorded message that there would be a protest on the steps of the capital building. The message was vague, but from the language I'd guess that the protest had a christian bend to it. I'm not even going to capitalize christian in this context.

How many protests did Jesus start? Well, a couple where HE was the object of the crowd's hate.

How many protests did Jesus diffuse? Well, a couple where he defended the women caught in adultery or the people's duty to pay taxes to Rome.

One of the striking titles given Jesus was "a friend of sinners." I can imagine it being said venomously, people sneering and hissing the "s" on sinners with all the derision they could muster. Today it more just sounds funny to say "friend of sinners." Although it was a spiteful loaded word in the conservative Jewish culture, we don't really hear it ring in our ears today. I would propose this new translation: Jesus, friend of homos.

And this brings us back to the purpose of going to Blazing Saddles: let some people know that they are not the scum of the earth, that they are not the worse skid mark ever streaked across the landscape, that they are people and that we, well, I, don't hate them.

Right, it is a sin. So is lust for the opposite sex. So is greed. So is gluttony. Why doesn't anyone picket Old Country Buffet?

Jesus's words remain the same. Go and sin no more. But if we are going to see this life, this history as a war and a great struggle for the hearts and minds of all people to win them back to the One True Lord of Heaven and Earth who rules them all by His Word, we need to be careful to NOT shoot the HOSTAGES. Shoot the real enemy.

So my brave scared friends and I played a game of pool with two guys who frequent the bar. They work in downtown Des Moines. Both probably around 30. They enjoy their careers. They were going back to small town western Iowa for the Easter holiday, to see one of the guy's father and then his mother. And they were kind of nervous, because although the parents know everything that's going on in their son's life, the mother has still yet to meet her son's significant other. Stressful and meaningful for any couple.

I'll be praying for them. One of the guys gave me his email, hopefully we'll be able to talk some more about his thoughts on spiritual things. He knew a lot of Bible verses. He also knew a lot of Hindu and Rastafarian philosophy. He was perplexed that he doesn't see Christians doing "greater things than these" like Jesus said in John 14:12. When asked what he, personally, thought of Jesus, he replied:

"I would love to sit down and have a cup of tea with the guy. Jesus is fascinating."

And the Lord spoke in a [digital clock] {still small voice}

God speaks to me in digital clocks.

Okay that probably sounds ridiculous, but before you haul me off to the loony bin, let me explain. I'm a bit of a "numbers" guy, I like math and know some Biblical imagery associated with numbers. So it would mostly make sense that God would use the numbers on a digital clock to speak to me.

How it usually happens is that something really cool is happening, for instance, praying with a friend and speaking encouragement to him, or the phone rings from that one person I just needed to talk to, or I'm perplexed about something and finally feel like I'm receiving the courage to go a certain direction with it. Then, a glance clockward. Quick, not premeditated. Just in the flow of the events. And the clock says?

>12:34<

This happened incredibly often for awhile, especially last fall. Could be AM or PM, they were equally frequent. The simple one-two-three-four that let me know things are in order, God is in control, our loving Lord is sovereign over all. And after that glance I continue doing whatever awesome thing I was doing, but probably with a huge smile and renewed vigor and a heart rejoicing in the Lord.

It was crazy how often this was happening. And it wasn't always 12:34, if I saw a 3:21 it would also bring the same joy, just 12:34 was the most common. Then gradually, I was seeing 2:34 all over the place. Yes, I was staying up past 2:30a more than I should have, which was definitely part of it. But it still seemed cool, just missing that one on the front.

The funny part is that this also mirrored my real life. I was working a lot to serve the Lord, but I had lost that first love for Him. He wasn't number one in my life. As ridiculous as it sounds, this all got restored in a huge way when I went to the OneThing Conference in Kansas City (you just can't make up stuff like this). The "1" that had fallen off my clock was addressed full on with a 4 day getaway that was ALL about falling more in love with Jesus. It was glorious, encountering Him in such a real way that He again became my one thing, my first desire.

And so what did I see on clocks everywhere for the next couple months after this conference, when He was restored as number 1 in my life?

>11:11<

True story.

passion.... meh...

Tonight at Salt Stan preached on Romans 12:9-13. Four verses, eight sentences, twelve commands. It was a thick sermon of lots of application. He said it was bascially eight sermons, on those eight different sentences, and hopefully one of them would hit you.

The one that hit me was "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Stan went on to talk about zeal and its opposite, duty. Just watch the new wide eyed freshmen on a sports team, running full out sprints during warm ups, while the seasoned seniors are lollygagging out of duty. A good picture to test yourself with: were would you be on that sports team?

It hit me pretty square. I've looked at this list of commands before, and the one that hits me usually as my strike zone is this very one. Never be lacking in zeal. The Lord has blessed me so that my life has the grace on it to exhibit some zeal at times. But lately? Not really. I've just been floating between a part time job and the lack of a second part time job. Filling the hours with random crap. Which I suppose is the biggest challenge if you're a zealous person. How do you keep the fire burning?

Passion is already lacking in our day. Cool indifference was the mode of the day in my civil engineering classes. Nobody really talked or was allowed to enjoy anything. Everybody rolled their eyes at the kids who sat in the front asked lots of questions and tucked their shirts in. Shuffle in. Take care of your business. Shuffle out. And I guess at the bar Friday night you could cut loose. I guess.

I don't want to conform to the pattern of this world. God, you've been transforming my heart, but we ain't there yet. Give me a persevering zeal for your Name and for your Glory and for the things that awaken my heart here on earth to serve you. I want to burn, Jesus. Set me ablaze. All it takes is a little spark. I certainly feel like dry tinder here at the moment. But Lord I need some thicker wood on the fire, too.

While I was at home during the Chirstmas holiday, we raked a lot of leaves. I know, it's almost inhumane to rake that many leaves during the Chirstmas holiday. By the end of the day we had this big pile of leaves and we threw in some dry reeds too. They grow near the burn pile and are useful for starting the fire. So we started the dry reeds and the leaves. The flame would quickly jump high and hot. Then it would just as soon die out to nothing but some smoking leaves. This scenario repeated about 10 times before we were fed up with it. The leaves and dry reeds were good for flaring up and getting a flame started. But to actually burn the pile, we had to catch fire on wooden sticks, in a thicker and thicker progression of wood. Once we had some logs going, it was easy to manage the thick steady log at the base of the leave pile, steadily chewing on the leaves that fell into the flame.

Lord, in the same way, may you temper me in that I catch flame in the substantial parts. The persevering parts of me that don't just get excited and flare up, but the parts that can steadily burn. Lord, may I never be lacking in zeal. Stir up the flame of passion. I want to keep my spiritual fervor. Help me do this, Lord, that I may serve You!

Kerusso!

Here's the latest movement that I'm thinking of starting. It's called "Kerusso." Sounds cool, right? Want in?

Okay, I guess I'll give you the backstory:

So on my sister's birthday a week or two ago, we made this really random video. Actually, it was just a picture slideshow. We put on funky costumes, took a bajillion photos of us in random poses (sort of like a stop-motion), made a bangin soundtrack, and then posted it on facebook. Responses poured in. I think 8 people had commented on the video before facebook took it down for excessive awesomeness. Okay, they actually took it down because the "bangin soundtrack" was a copyrighted song. But people went nuts for this really random video with no reason or plot or end.

The moral of the story? People are bored. They will watch, read, listen to, or download basically anything. Especially if they know you.

Well, that's one way to look at it anyway. At the retreat this past weekend Brandon Barker had a breakout session where he talked about the church and the internet/technology, and how the former is resistant to change at times while the latter is changing every second. Also, the internet has shifted from a place that you go to get information to a place that you go to be a part of the conversation. See: time spent on facebook, twitter.

This obviously is a new part of the culture. There was a day when people didn't have facebook or youtube or the internet or tv's or even radios. I think people mostly just sat around and talked back then. Kinda lame. But actually, I bet it was fun. Just in the town square, chillin on benches, chatting about what's going on. And if you think about it, we're just trying to make facebook and twitter our new townsquare where we chat about the latest whatever. So we're the lame ones.

Back to the movement and the title of this post. Kerusso. This is a big Greek word loaded with meaning. It means to herald, to proclaim, or to publish, public announcement. They usually just translate it "preach" in the new testament. So it would seem that it was in these town square, chillin and grillin times that Jesus or John the Baptizer would grab their audiences and say things like "repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near!"

That's what they did back then to kerusso. But now we do have the internet and facebook and youtube. How much more can we be kerusso-ing in the information age? My idea is to enable and encourage people to post their God stories all over the place. It was shocking how much conversation and attention a silly slideshow of dress-up generated. How much more if people are declaring the awesome things that God is doing in their lives! I already have videos I want to make where I tell the story of the car battery I prayed for or Melinda's jaw being healed or the witch doctor in Africa coming to Christ or Reggie repenting on the dorm floor or whatever else I can think of to properly herald, trumpet, and proclaim the Glory of God!

What would you want to kerusso from the rooftops? Or from the internet?

Scary thought of the moment

Okay, this is kind of dumb I realize, but at the same time, in quiet moments staring at the ceiling this is what leaves me unsettled:

I was a pretty smart little kid, read a lot of books and was sharp at math, whole nine yards. About third grade I got wind of the rumor that there is no Santa Claus. And the funny part was, I denied it. I knew there was a Santa. And even if I didn't KNOW know, I still had the vocal, stubborn part of me violently overpower the still small voice of truth deep inside and convince myself that Santa is real. I even would refute third grade classmates who tried to say there was no Santa. I had a couple theories of how he could probably deliver to all of the USA in one night, since there were other similar Santa figures for Mexico and Norway and other cultures that we learned about, the work was divided up among them all. One assignment of making a Chirstmas picture book, I made almost a propaganda pamphlet describing in detail the credibility of Santa Claus.

A while later, my dad sat down my sister and I and spilled the beans. There is no Santa. This didn't make me mad or anything, I feel like it really just freed me up, let the inner voice of truth out of the cramped locked box I had put him in.

To a certain degree, I feel like this was something of a seedbed for the gift of faith that has shown up at certain points in my life. If I have the faith to hold steadfast to Santa, I pray that I steadfastly hold to Jesus exponentially more. But in other ways, I think there might be something unhealthy to it all...

Are there other things my inner voice of truth clearly knows that my vocal and stubborn side keeps locked up?

Mover of Men and Mountains

I guess one of the only things that consistantly pulls me back to this blog is reading books. Other stuff happens too fast to write down, and books happen slow and then disappear. Better write them down.

Okay, the latest: R. G. LeTourneau's autobiography, Mover of Men and Mountains. Haven't heard of LeTourneau? Bummer. Ever heard of the bulldozer? Haha, that's right, the bulldozer. That's just one of the 300 patents that LeTourneau owns. This guy was NUTS.

Wait, I skipped a little too far ahead. Since LeTourneau is probably one of the most influencial and amazing people that you've never heard of, I'll try and give you the 1 blog post summary of the book:

Boy from the middle of nowhere drops out of school and becomes a mechanic. This is early 1900s, so there were only like three different kinds of cars for him to work on. Somehow he takes his welder from repairing cars to building things. Machines and earthmovers. Finds the Lord, too, supporting missionaries in China. Gets a little contracting business going. Then the general rhythm is this: he gets a bit contracting job to do, he falls way behind and has no idea how he's going to complete it, he starts praying harder, then he invents a new machine or earth mover or something and BANG! the Lord provides and he gets the job done. It's remarkable. Along the way he decided that his startup business would be a partnership--10% himself and 90% God. This was reflected all the way to the finances, where he created a charitable foundation to put 90% of the profits. Praise Jesus... ! He also had a Biblically-based magazine that he published and distributed to all the workers in his factories and job sites, with set aside prayer times.

I mentioned the bulldozer, that was probably his invention that is most easily recognized. Get this: the first design was the front pushing blade mounted on a MULE. That's right, a mule. It was hard to even place this book, imagining a world with motor-engines just beginning to break through the surface. Eventually, of course, he invented a diesel prime-mover that could push the blade instead of the four legged hooved animal.

The last part of LeTourneau's legacy that I gotta mention: towns in Liberia and Peru that are NAMED AFTER HIM when he came through with his earth movers and cleared out some jungle and improved the quality of living for the area. Now, the somewhat liberally minded part of me raises an eyebrow at sending a "jungle-smashing spiky steamroller" into the jungle to speed up deforestation, not to mention the cultural insensitivity to "colonize" that part of Peru, calling it Tourna-vista. His heart was in the right spot. LeTourneau University in Texas also bears his legacy, and a guy I know here at Iowa State is headed there next fall for school.

Thank you, Lord, for men like LeTourneau who whole-heartedly serve you from the marketplace and from the job site. Thank you for the mark he has left on the world and the way that you have used his life and his ministry to change so many lives. May you raise up more LeTourneau's in our day.

God is a verb

I've been reading The Shack, just like every other good christian out there. Okay, except the christians who like Mark Driscoll, because he says the book is a heresy known as modalism. People have been pretty divided and extreme on this book, some saying this is our generation's Pilgrim's Progress, others saying that you shouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. As is the case many times when both sides are saying that, neither extreme case is right. The book is decent. Has some teachable moments. Isn't going to reshape a generation and bring revival to all those who read it, touch it, or are breathed on by someone who read it or touched it.

I'll make a comment here, but I won't ruin the premise of the book for you, you might as well give it a read since there's been some hub-bub. I've been reading it slow, it's about the 4th book on my list right now. That means I have a bookmark in 3 others that are better, and only if I'm in a dry part in those will I actually reach for The Shack. But it's a decent read.

All that being said, last night I finally got to the part that was worth the price of the book altogether. Wanna hear it?

GOD is a VERB.

I AM.
I was and I am and I will be.
I am the way, the truth, and the life.
I am LOVE.

It's all over Scripture. God is a verb. I'm still digesting that comment, but it's so true and applicable that I'm blurting it out.

I'm thinking about the creation story, and how God started with light.
Light is a verb too, I think. A wave, anyway.
And when God did make nouns, lots of nouns, they still needed the verb, the action, the GOD that flows through them and in them. And so the stars dance and the sun spins and the moon orbits. They all have that verb flowing through them, that God-ness in them, His Fingerprints.

Another place it shows up: in ancient Hebrew, the words for work and for worship were basically one and the same. Enter into His presence and lift up His Name by doing, moving, singing, clapping. And go out and keep his name glorious by doing something useful with your hands

Okay, enough abstraction for now. I need to go be an imitator of God and verb some myself.

I like fire

Happy New Year to everyone out there. I of course spent my whole New Year's Day watching football, eating sloppy joes and tostitos, and hanging out with Scott and my dad in front of the tube. Didn't get out of my sweats all day. That's supposed to be the perfect day, right?

Well I think January 2nd has been the best day of the year, actually. My uncle Bill has two wood burning stoves, which needed refilling. So, with the perfect winter day weather, Bill drove his brown and tan '84 Chevy over behind our house and brought his chainsaw. Kyle, my Dad, Bill, and I dove into clearing the downed trees that were still all over our treeline from *ahem* July. There were several huge trees. The nostalgic, somber part was several huge tree branches that had collapsed the roof of our tree house. Before anyone could pause and get sentimental, my dad is standing on top of the shaky, half-destroyed structure with his chainsaw revved up all the way. He turns 49 in less than two weeks, and still it's his 18 and 23 year old sons down below yelling cautious things. Oh Dad, what a guy.

I didn't get to do a lot of chainsawing, but it was still fulfilling to drag all those smaller branches down to our burn pile. It was huge. I had an incident with a leaf pile down there over Thanksgiving break that got a little out of hand, so I was hesitant in how to get the huge pile of lumber started; I didn't want another panic moment that came with the towering inferno of leaves. Curiously, the fire actually kept going out. The branches were stacked wrong or something. We had little fires brightly running off of the leaves three or four times, each failing in turn. Kyle and I finally went boy scout style and started our own fire, separate of the pile without lighter fluid (because we ran out on the first four attempts, not because we're consciencious granola eaters). With careful tending, it grew into a steady flame, and then a comsuming fire.

I had the pleasure of tending the fire all afternoon. We had Bill's truckbed filled past capacity soon after lunch, and Dad went in to work to do paperwork, and Kyle helped me get the fire going but then sauntered off. I could have left too, but nah. The fire was mine. All afternoon. For the next few hours, I fed the fire, watched the flames dance, contemplate the next few months, talked with God, and even sang a little. Aren't fires mesmerizing? I figured that if I could spend a whole day watching a flickering box project little men run around with a ball, I could spend this day staring at a fire, surrounded by a beautiful winter day until the sun lowerd to light it's own slow fire in the sky.

One spiritual moment from that time that I'd like to share: there was some greener wood in the pile that kept curling up as it burned. It reminded me of the verse from the familiar Psalm, #23: "Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Meditating on that verse for awhile actually became a little unsettling--as a sheep, wouldn't I somewhat fear the rod and the staff? That curl on the staff is going to grab me if I am off the path, or goofing off. And hopefully the rod is for predators, but it probably should be used on me too if I'm needing of discipline. *Gulp* I suppose all those who are In Christ are grateful for the staff that one time, when we were the 1 and He left the 99 and pulled us out of the ravine or out of the stream or whatever ridiculous situations our sins had us in. Salvation, praise God. But after that, He can put down the rod and staff, right? I mean, we're friends of God now. No need bruising any sheep....

Acutally, yes, there is a need at times to bruise a sheep. I'm realizing that while I have been meditating on the Love of God a lot and coming to deeper understanding there, I maybe have had tunnel vision. There are other aspects to His care for us that are just as essential. Maybe not as cushy. But just as necessary for our growth and becoming more like Jesus. Hebrews 12 will tell you that God disciplines us because we're sons, and it's a beautiful thing. The Lord knows I need more discipline in my life. Not my strong suit. I'm good at being led by His Spirit and just going with the flow, but it's so true that God works through structure and planning and routine, too. More often in the Bible it's called faithfulness, perseverence, and administration.

Come Lord, with Your rod and Your staff. I want to feel your comfort in that way. Help me to become a more rounded individual and a better steward of the grace you've poured out in my life. And thank you for FIRE.

Bonus: My favorite song about fire today: