Aaron Weiss

Tomorrow marks the release of mewithoutYou's new album. The title is:

it's all crazy! it's all false! it's all a dream! it's alright

which can be a bit of a mouthful. I'll no doubt have a review coming soon on the blog. My dear friend and companion Matt Van Maanen introduced me to the band about 3 years ago when he wanted to use one of their songs for a video we were making. It was the track "Bullet to Binary" of mwY's first album, [A->B] Life. I thought it was horrible. The grumbling dissonant guitars, some guy half yelling half talking saying "let us die, let us die." Blech.

Thankfully, Matt didn't let up. His next piece of propagana was the music video to the song "Paper Hanger." What made me pay attention was how Matt could re-enact the entire video on the blue fluffy carpet of our dorm room. More precisely, he could re-enact every naive facial expression and daisy-in-the-wind dance move of the lead singer, Aaron Weiss. The song contained some of Weiss's genius:

"Not one motion of her gesture could I forget
The prettiest bag lady I ever met....
....If I was a basket filled with holes
Then she was the sand I tried to hold"

And so, after walking to Matt's dorm room across the hall and seeing him watch the video every day at 4pm sharp, it started to grow on me. There was something to the madness of these mewithoutYou guys. An acquired taste, not sweet and sugary, but lumpy and crusty and at times bitter, but always leaving a good aftertaste.

The center of the madness and the genius is Aaron Weiss. He officially has social anxiety disorder, I believe. I have a friend who was at one of the early shows where he saw Aaron have a little bit of an anxiety attack and he tried to leave the stage. His brother Michael, the guitarist, stopped him and talked to him and got him to at least finish the show. But that was just part of the beauty and mystery of the band. Who knew if they could hold it together. While they did hold it together, Aaron crafted amazing lyrics and performed them more like spoken word poetry.

The angst and the poetry and the genius was real. But over the progression, you could see Aaron grow and mellow out and put deeper roots of faith in the Lord. The first album, downright scary and angry. The second album, more tempered, yet still edgy and on a journey. The process is even chronicled on that album in the song "Tie me up, Untie me" with the lyric

"She's like the hot cloth on a fevered head,
And like a needle she leads me (while I follow like thread)
But you untied me... didn't You untie me, Lord?
And now I haven't even thought about killing myself in almost five months"

Some of the most unnerving encouraging lines you'll find.

The progression continued on the next release which was called Brother, Sister after the a poem that I believe is by St. Francis. In this, much of the angst was expressed in agrarian themes, such as

"the books are overdue and the goats are underfed
the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead"

The music mellowed out significantly, adding accordians and harps to some songs. They still had the good guitar work, but it was the turning point from being an angry hardcore-ish band to being makers of interesting music.

And so, I come to the whole reason that I sat down to write this post in the first place:
This new album looks to be a step even further in the progression of being less angst ridden and heavy, and more agrarian folklore. Which, as I said, makes for interesting music that is more accessible.

But here's the rub: Aaron is not so angry anymore. He's not a tortured soul, wondering if he's going to make it with himself another day. I dunno, maybe this full album tomorrow will surprise me, but the 3 songs that have been released so far lead me to believe that the shrew has been largely tamed.

Should I feel bad for being a little disappointed? Weiss was fiery, he was intense, he was masterful. His genius shone in the midst of his dark valleys. In some ways, I feel triumphant walking into tomorrow to buy an album that looks to be the top of the summit; Aaron's ascent to a full and victorious life in Christ. But is it okay if I miss the old Aaron, just a little?

The album will still be good. But I think it's the beginning of the end. Some of their old followers will start to loose interest. Hopefully the more accessible horn section and piano ballads will open the door to more fans. I dunno. But already I feel they're becoming a different band entirely.

Hats off to you, Mr. Weiss, for overcoming the inner demons and walking more toward the light. Sorry if I treated you like a side show spectacle at times. Thanks for letting us enter your pain. And thanks for continuing to point people to that light, as you said in "O Porcupine":

"and all I ever want to say for the rest of my life
is how that light is G-d,
and though I've been mistaken on this or that point,
that light is nevertheless G-d."