Saturday, February 21, 2009

Scary thought of the moment

Okay, this is kind of dumb I realize, but at the same time, in quiet moments staring at the ceiling this is what leaves me unsettled:

I was a pretty smart little kid, read a lot of books and was sharp at math, whole nine yards. About third grade I got wind of the rumor that there is no Santa Claus. And the funny part was, I denied it. I knew there was a Santa. And even if I didn't KNOW know, I still had the vocal, stubborn part of me violently overpower the still small voice of truth deep inside and convince myself that Santa is real. I even would refute third grade classmates who tried to say there was no Santa. I had a couple theories of how he could probably deliver to all of the USA in one night, since there were other similar Santa figures for Mexico and Norway and other cultures that we learned about, the work was divided up among them all. One assignment of making a Chirstmas picture book, I made almost a propaganda pamphlet describing in detail the credibility of Santa Claus.

A while later, my dad sat down my sister and I and spilled the beans. There is no Santa. This didn't make me mad or anything, I feel like it really just freed me up, let the inner voice of truth out of the cramped locked box I had put him in.

To a certain degree, I feel like this was something of a seedbed for the gift of faith that has shown up at certain points in my life. If I have the faith to hold steadfast to Santa, I pray that I steadfastly hold to Jesus exponentially more. But in other ways, I think there might be something unhealthy to it all...

Are there other things my inner voice of truth clearly knows that my vocal and stubborn side keeps locked up?

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