Lance's Responsible Grown-Up Scoreboard

I think I'm going to do a little miniseries of posts here on my blog.  I call it "Lance's Responsible Grown-Up Scoreboard."  I'm 23, I'm over a semester out of college, I'm in the real world.  But I live across the street from a college campus and I have a job that includes "dodgeball" in its main duties.  So it's time for the tale of the tape.  This week's score so far on the RGUSB:

Played dodgeball for several hours on Sunday night: -1

Bought a car with my money that I will actually own on the title: +1

Financed the car through my parents: -0.5

Bought the car from my aunt for really cheap: -0.5

Shopped around for car insurance policies, got a good deal with State Farm: +1

Painted my face and fought the mid-evil club with 30 guys, Braveheart style: -1

There you have it, the mid-week tally on the Responsi-meter is (-1).  That's okay, I estimate that in months past I've been hanging out near a (-3).  The general way that I feel the Responsi-meter scorecard turns out:

(-5): You need to throw away the comic books and graduate from middle school

(0): Well balanced, fun loving, hard working, vibrant life

(+5): You need to loosen your necktie and stop yelling at little kids telling them to get a job

Okay, well this new research method is untested, yet promising.  I'll keep you posted!

Resurrection Explosion

Is Jesus really that good? Could it be possible? RESOUNDING YES.

Jesus, look what happened at our Easter celebration. The Freshmen Group Easter experience was pretty cool, you really showed up. I had a lot of harebrained ideas cooked up, and the amazing co-workers that you blessed me with let me try and follow through with them.

First off, God, you showed up in the Xenos performance. It was amazing to see over 20 students, 90% of them Asian, doing a dance routine to Holy hip-hop. I know some of them don't even follow you yet, and they were helping us to celebrate your resurrection. It was really cool, Lord, I know your kingdom is going to have lots of dancing going on.

And Jesus, thank you for showing up in the worship music. I was scared, everyone was out of town and we didn't have a drummer, but in the end it didn't even really matter. We were able to sing the desires of our hearts to you.

Lord, thank you for carrying me through the message. Lord I thank you for the words that you passed over my tongue. May anything I said that was not of you be forgotten already, and may the things that were of you penetrate into the deepest places.

God, thank you for using the coconut. It's such a striking picture of your death, burial, and resurrection. Lord I could tell you were using it to speak to people. Thank you for B&L who taught it to me, and your followers across India who use it to draw near to your heart. And God, thank you for keeping me from hurting myself with the hammer, I know it would have been pretty gripping if I had a bloody thumb to help people enter in to your crucifixion, but I thank you that it still worked.

Jesus I could tell that you were really drawing near to people in the communion time. Wow. Now that I think about it, I didn't actually get a chance to partake of it. Hmm. Well Jesus, you still were working in everyone there, and me for sure, so I thank you for that.

Lord, the cardboard boxes were amazing. What a passionate picture of the way that we raise from the grave alongside you. God I pray that people were touched by it.

God, you are amazing. That's all I can say. Look what you did. Thank you for helping me from getting in the way. I loooooooove you, Jesus.

Blazing Saddles

Last night was my second time at a gay bar.

I'm not really sure what to say. I could type up an in-depth case study of each of the people I met and the social constructs that come to life in this sub-culture of middle America. But I don't want to turn these people into lab rats. That's a big part of why I went, to stop the de-humanization. These are people.

More full reason of why I went: Last week the Iowa Supreme Court made some weird out of the blue ruling that gay marriage is now allowed in Iowa. Random, and I don't really agree with it. But what's worse: I was called from an unknown number on my cell and left a recorded message that there would be a protest on the steps of the capital building. The message was vague, but from the language I'd guess that the protest had a christian bend to it. I'm not even going to capitalize christian in this context.

How many protests did Jesus start? Well, a couple where HE was the object of the crowd's hate.

How many protests did Jesus diffuse? Well, a couple where he defended the women caught in adultery or the people's duty to pay taxes to Rome.

One of the striking titles given Jesus was "a friend of sinners." I can imagine it being said venomously, people sneering and hissing the "s" on sinners with all the derision they could muster. Today it more just sounds funny to say "friend of sinners." Although it was a spiteful loaded word in the conservative Jewish culture, we don't really hear it ring in our ears today. I would propose this new translation: Jesus, friend of homos.

And this brings us back to the purpose of going to Blazing Saddles: let some people know that they are not the scum of the earth, that they are not the worse skid mark ever streaked across the landscape, that they are people and that we, well, I, don't hate them.

Right, it is a sin. So is lust for the opposite sex. So is greed. So is gluttony. Why doesn't anyone picket Old Country Buffet?

Jesus's words remain the same. Go and sin no more. But if we are going to see this life, this history as a war and a great struggle for the hearts and minds of all people to win them back to the One True Lord of Heaven and Earth who rules them all by His Word, we need to be careful to NOT shoot the HOSTAGES. Shoot the real enemy.

So my brave scared friends and I played a game of pool with two guys who frequent the bar. They work in downtown Des Moines. Both probably around 30. They enjoy their careers. They were going back to small town western Iowa for the Easter holiday, to see one of the guy's father and then his mother. And they were kind of nervous, because although the parents know everything that's going on in their son's life, the mother has still yet to meet her son's significant other. Stressful and meaningful for any couple.

I'll be praying for them. One of the guys gave me his email, hopefully we'll be able to talk some more about his thoughts on spiritual things. He knew a lot of Bible verses. He also knew a lot of Hindu and Rastafarian philosophy. He was perplexed that he doesn't see Christians doing "greater things than these" like Jesus said in John 14:12. When asked what he, personally, thought of Jesus, he replied:

"I would love to sit down and have a cup of tea with the guy. Jesus is fascinating."